rearrange

Yesterday, I had the carpets cleaned in my apartment.  It was well overdue since it had not been done since I moved in, a complete 6 years ago.  I have been so proud of the result!  It is worth the work involved.  The unknown stain from the weekend with my family has been removed.  The threads are standing up tall and fluffy.  It feels so fresh and soft under my feet.  Also, a few more chunks have been knocked out of the wall as a result of moving the furniture alone.  You can see parts of the wall, you shouldn't see from the outside and the "sheetrock" is flaking off with each additional bump.  Ooops!  To paint or not to paint? That is the question.

Today as I returned the furniture and decorations back to the carpeted areas of the apartment, I decided to try a little different room arrangement.  I had the sensation that a change was desired.  I had been thinking about it for the past twenty-four hours, but really wasn't sure another layout was going to work.  Here is the end product....

It definitely gives me a different perspective on the room!  It's the next best thing to moving...mixing it up a bit.  Come on over and see it for yourself!  I love to have the company.

P.S.  I love this new format here in blogger!  An undo button!  Putting the pictures where you want in the blog as they are inserted!  Genius!

legacy

Wow! I feel like I am in spiritual 1st grade. It is exciting though. I am refreshed that God choose this time to place this book in my hands and reveal simple truths through his scripture to me that I have never believed in this way. Now my prayer is that I will not try to fight this war with these truths on my own, but that instead I will allow him to flood in with his power to restore and redesign.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. ~Psalm 42:5 and Psalm 42: 11

In a discussion about song lyrics once, a friend told me that writers do not repeat words by accident, particularly at the end of the song. It is with purpose and alters the meaning. In this chapter, the psalmist repeated the same two sentences verbatim in the middle and end. This tells me it was intended to be a significant message. Beth suggested that this was not written at a time when he felt like praising God, but was instead choosing to change his thought pattern. This is what we must do at times when the waves of insecurity begin to surface.

Oh, this next Psalm was so stimulating to me! I had been really captivated by the portion from Psalm 8:5 "crowned with glory and honor" in reference to us. Then I found this mention of crowning with the same implication.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. ~Psalm 103:2-5

We have been crowned with glory, honor, steadfast love, and mercy. I think that is the basis for our faith in a nutshell.

bless-to extol as holy; glorify
iniquity-gross injustice or wickedness; a violation of right or duty; wicked act; sin.

Then when I take time to soak in the entire sentence...it is heavy! Which part does not describe me? Forgives, heals, and REDEEMS YOUR LIFE FROM THE PIT! Then satisfies and renews! I will have to let it marinate on my heart.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness, " has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ~2 Corinthians 4: 6-12

The treasure of him is carried in fragile little us so that no one can boast but that it is perfectly clear to give glory to God.

Finally...
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposd to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those wo do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.~Galations 5:16-23

And this brought me full circle, the desires of the flesh are to compare ourselves others, compete, play God or the devil to others, have self-doubt, fits of anger, jealousy, envy, etc. This is not living in our inheritance of honor, glory, honor, and mercy...and clearly states that we are not walking with the Spirit. The evidence of him living through us will be love, joy, peace (security), etc. There it is again. If we are being clothed with Jesus Christ we will be secure!

security

I am continuing and am now through Chapter 13. I am thankful that for the most part what God has highlighted for me is directly out of the scriptures. It has also been very enlightening for me to use the definitions of these simple words that we use in our everyday conversations to focus on the depth of their meaning in these contexts.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.~Romans 8:37-39

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory (honor); my mighty rock, my refuge is God.~Psalm 62:6-7

glory-very great praise, honor, or distinction bestowed by common consent; something that is a source of honor or admiration; a distinguished ornament or an object of pride

honor-a source of credit or distinction; high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank

May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless (or The Lord will give...The Lord will bless) his people with peace!~Psalm 29:11

peace-freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.;

security–

1. freedom from danger, risk, etc.; safety.

2. freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.

It wasn't until definitions further down that words protection entered the scene...the primary definitions of security are freedom! So when we are caving to the insecurities we are relinquishing our God given right to have freedom from anxiety about our worth, identity, etc.

I am a woman of God, clothed in strength and dignity, and no one gets to take those things from me. I am clothed with strength and dignity! God gives his people security.

Beth recommends that we refuse to allow insecurity to stalk every other reaction. Here's a revelation:
We can be hurt without being insecure.
We can be disappointed without being insecure.
We can be unsure without being insecure.
We can be humbled without being insecure.

We can choose to think...
You may be so intimidating and threatening that I feel I have to hand a lot of things to you, but I refuse to hand over my security. Who you are doesn't get to dwarf who I am. My security is mine to keep. You cannot have it.

or

You can __________(hurt my feelings, criticize, embarrass) but you do not get to damage my security. It's mine to keep. You cannot have it.

Therefore do not throw away your confidence (in faith), which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised...But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.~Hebrews 10: 36-39

I am a woman of God, clothed in strength and dignity, and no one gets to take those things from me. I am clothed with strength and dignity! God gives his people security.

a woman of valor

I have continued through chapter nine in So Long Insecurity, which is where I will stop tonight. It truly got heavy for me in the last two chapters...in a way I was completely not expecting. God overwhelmed me with his truth through familiar verses that I had never understood in this way. I saw these as a chain, one that led to the next in my understanding, although Beth did not necessarily present them in this order in her commentary.

But that is not the way you learned Christ!---assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off our old self...and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.~Ephesians 4:20-24

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.~Romans 13:14

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings (or than God) and crowned him with glory and honor....~Psalm 8: 3-5

valor--boldness in facing danger

An excellent wife (translates the same as woman) who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. ~Proverbs 31: 10, 25

strength--strong, vigor, courage

dignity--self-respect, sign of respect, honor

And that is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything in accordance with his will he hears us. and if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.~1 John 5:14-15

insecurity--self-doubt, lack of confidence or assurance

These references to clothing are relevant to me. Of course, I do love to get clothes and the feelings of them can have a significant impact on my mood. More so though, when insecurity has won in my life, I have the feeling of standing in the center of a place, naked and bare, exposed for all to see. The truth is that I am covered, clothed, protected-let's say, from "life" with my hope in Christ Jesus. We are created in the likeness of God~worthy. The scripture says we have been crowned with glory and honor and more specifically as women we are to be clothed in strength and dignity (honor). I have not been owning my inheritance! Clearly, based on these scriptures it is God's will for us to walk in this truth to see ourselves as significant in him. Therefore, prayers for security and healing will be answered. I did not realize that the freedom from insecurities would also involve a confession and seeking forgiveness of

• self-absorption
• jealousy and covetousness
• competitions
• thinking too little of the person God created
• despising myself and considering myself inferior to others
• pride and the though that I am superior to others
• unbelief--in the truths

...and healing. Something tells me this is only scratching the surface.

identity

I am currently reading Beth Moore's book So Long, Insecurity. It is possible you will see more tweets and blog posts that reflect this processing. However, I was prompted to put down the book for a few minutes and revisit a poem from a bible study I participated in during college. The study was from a workbook called Search for Significance. It had a definite impact on my thinking and I have been reminded of the truths it reiterates many times since then. We focused a lot on this poem. I have thought to share it with my former homegroup girls so many times before and failed to do it, so here it is.

My Identity in Christ

Because of Christ's redemption,
I am a new creation of infinite worth.

I am deeply loved,
I am completely forgiven,
I am fully pleasing,
I am totally accepted by God.
I am absolutely complete in Christ.

When my performance
reflects my new identity in Christ,
that reflection is dynamically unique.

There has never been another person like me
in the history of mankind,
nor will there ever be.
God has made me an original,
one of a kind, really somebody!

For me, it has taken reading and rereading it, revisiting it time and time again focusing on each part to try to get it to sink in. Obviously, I am still on this journey.

Right now I am trying to attack and put to death this ugly part of my heart-insecurity-with the vengence we have been studying from Colossians. I don't even know what that looks like, nor am I even sure I want to fight that hard. However, I do believe it will affect my relationships, career, etc. significantly if I have the courage in Christ to do it.

My friend, Tiger

My friend Tiger is an extraordinary example of faith and perseverance. You can watch this video to learn more about him, his health concerns, faith, and mission.

Tiger Coffman Testimony from Unblind Productions on Vimeo.

Almost two weeks ago, he underwent a major surgery to remove some tumors at MD Anderson in Houston. These were located on his spinal cord. While he is undergoing physical therapy and making progress each day, he has not been able to regain feeling in his left leg and has had a few other complications. It has been a tough time for him. Please join me in prayer for him. Here are a few specific things on my heart:

• any amounts of discouragement and frustration would be quickly battled, keeping a positive outlook
• regaining of feeling in his leg
• a full recovery of independence
• that Tiger will be able to bring truth to those around him (nurses, doctors, fellow patients, family)
• others who hear of his story will be encouraged and led to truth