community

How amazing is it to be part of something so BIG! I have never seen anything like this up close and personal. The Village Church is a community! I am thankful that I can proclaim my participation with these believers. This weekend was a milestone one for us.

It was our final set of services in the HV campus. My heart is glad that I was able to do the Saturday night greeting just one weekend before its culmination. It brought tears to my eyes to stand in the doorway at the back of the sanctuary while Matt stood up there for the last time talking about the move. I'm not sure when it happened, but my heart had grown attached to the little "ghetto" church building....if that is even possible in HV, Texas! So much has happened in my heart and with those that I love so dearly during the past four years as a result of God's work through that place. I know, I know...it isn't about the building itself and I'm not even sure it started in those walls, but we are sentimental creatures. My hope is that even more wonderful memories, revelations, and growth will happen just a few blocks away at the FM campus.

Then, I received a status update on Thanksgiving day about a significant event in Matt's health. Within a few hours, it seemed like the whole world was buzzing of the news. Again, my heart felt connection with and heavy for a situation that I had not anticipated. While I have only spoken to Matt in passing as I greet on Saturdays, his ministry pours into me weekly. It is that community of The Village Church. Now something that I treasure is shaken by the news of "a mass" on Matt Chandler's brain. Unreal. Right now? To witness the outpouring of support, love, and prayer from across the globe is breathtaking. This community is far larger than I can comprehend.

God has all things, including these Jars of Clay, within his power.

Now, we pray and wait.........please join us.

scars

The last several days have been emotional for me. A case of serious tears appears to be on the verge of flowing down. I guess the water has been backing up.

While for the most part the spirit is resilient, some wounds of distress can easily be torn open. These scars have left an everlasting impact. The words of Papa Roach in the song "Scars"...

Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real

I hate some words as soon as they are spoken. Then, emotions break my heart.

I ponder the darkness that others walk in without having a flashlight to deal with it.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for...
*time to sit and be quiet
*simple pleasures
*sharing moments with a friend
*people who love and challenge me
*The Village Church and grace
*memories that make me gush and hopefulness for more to come
*music that makes me tap my feet
*good food
*a glass of wine
*bar food and a cold beer
*the warmth of spring and the chill of fall
*pictures that hold memories
*comfortable pajamas and a soft bed
*new clothes
*surprise phone calls
*weekend trips
*paying off a car
*the anticipation of a holiday
...and an abundance of other gifts I've been given

Happy Thanksgiving!

state fair

Yes...I have fallen behind on my posts! October was filled to the max. It contained a lot of traveling and work, celebrations, and good times with people I love. So now that I have time to breathe, the pictures are edited and ready for posting. :)

One of the things that thrilled my heart was an afternoon at the State Fair of Texas! I was even a little surprised at how much joy it brought...and that I continued to think of it for some time after. Macee, Maile, and I were battling with the weather during the month of rain. It was hard to say, even at the moment of pulling out of the parking lot whether we were going to make it. Before the clouds began to spit on us, we did get to have the all important photo-op with Big Tex, take a ride on the ferris wheel, and indulge in fair food. The Fletcher's corn dog and cold beer were worth the numerous tickets that we had to hand over, but the best was yet to come. I now know the simple pleasure that will cure all problems--FRIED SNICKERS!! Oh my! I just wish that I could find a place to enjoy this treat before next year's round of fairs.

Then The Casey Donahew Band performed without disappointment. Singing along complete with chants and motions is not uncommon, however, I had never heard the band stop and teach the fans the inserts. They did! Macee and I were glad to be included and able to participate. :)

Dear Bigmama

Dear Bigmama,
Today would have been your birthday. I have been thinking about this all week. Really, I think of you so often. A thought will flash across my mind that I need to tell you something or how you would be worrying about this or that if you were here. Nana is really good at listening to me during the hardest times. She understands exactly what I mean.

I enjoy wearing the necklace that you gave me. It reminds me of you and all of our special times. I especially keep it close during significant times for me. Somehow it seems a comfort.

I miss you no less today, than I did a year or even two ago. I love you very much!
Jen

greet 'n eat

Saturday night, we had a "Greet 'n Eat" event at Macee's. A good time was had by all! I have been transitioned into drinking from a can and introduced to 2 new games. These are my friends!

P.S. It was a bad camera night. Please do not judge my photography by this post. It was a fun night and these grainy, blurred images are memories! :)

all in a day's work

This week I had the opportunity to continue some work that I have been doing on the social studies framework for grades K-1 in Texas (commonly known as the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills or TEKS). This portion of the process was to present a general summary of the suggestions that we have made thus far to the State Board of Education and receive their feedback. The meeting began at 9:00 am in Austin, but I did not begin speaking until approximately 2:45pm. It had been a long and sometimes dramatic day up to this point. I was a little nervous to be put in this spotlight essentially in front of the whole state of Texas! I knew that it was being broadcast via the web and recorded. Mulitple media representatives had been in attendance throughout the morning and a few remained after lunch. There was a lot of pressure. We were limited to an approximately 3 minute speech prior to the questioning, which I had prepared and continued to refine throughout the day. I was pleased with the flow of my time to defend our thinking and goals, despite the intensity at times!

However, I have been completely overwhelmed by the response from others. Before I could return to my seat, I had texts from my friends and colleagues in Denton who had watched all 35 minutes online. Within an hour, I had an e-mail from a stranger offering resources related to the suggestions that I had been given from the Board who also watched it online. Then at the break is when I was taken back...people I didn't know, acquaintances, colleagues, and friends gushed and freely flowed with compliments. It was all still a blur to me since my adrenaline had been flowing. I found it interesting to hear their perspectives and at what points they became defensive. My ears had not heard the same things from behind the podium! They were informing me of things I hadn't even noticed or was unaware of during the "grilling" I was under. I did not understand the big deal they were making about the event. This made me very anxious to watch it online later in the evening to see what all the fuss was about!!! I was excited and giggly, but confused.

Unfortunately, the recorded versions were not posted until Friday, so I had to wait until I returned home to reflect and take it all in from the other side. Upon arriving back home I received flowers that had been delivered to the school during the day!! The card simply reads, "You did wonderful at the SBOE meeting!!! Way to go! Many were watching and all of us are proud of you!!" It was unsigned. Based on a conversation with my coordinator, I believe they are from at least one other coordinator--who I don't think I know!

Then I was really surprised! I watched the video of the meeting. Yes, it went well...I smiled, graciously accepted their feedback, and took the opportunity to politely defend former and current mislead accusations about the proprosals for change. However, it was all in a day's work.

I feel like I have a "fan club". It is a pleasant overwhelming feeling to be supported so strongly from so many people. Thank you! I'm in awe.