I've come to realize recently that some of the best layed out plans work best only in theory. Sure, I've heard this before and even used the phrase--but really! What I've come to learn is that the deepest desire to make the dreams come true, the belief that one day others will come around or things will fall into place, hoping, wishing, even praying...isn't going to make some things happen. It is impossible to understand at the time that this is because God has a different plan. Interesting how his all-knowingness and power gives him a different perspective. Ultimately, the blessing comes from what seems to be a disappointment.
I have wasted many months or even years stumbling all around these things for no reason at all. How foolish to continue to chase after what is known to be wrong. Oh ye, of little faith! Then, the freedom and enlightenment that comes in loosening the grip of control--ever so slowly.
God has surprised me and brought joy! I am so thankful that he is patient and loves me despite my human qualities. I don't know what tomorrow or most definitely not February or the months to follow have in store. Until its time for me to know the next chapter, I'm attempting to look to him for direction in each step. I believe He is going to do great things!
Even while writing these truths though, I have a mix of emotions in my heart. Already, I must turn around and give it back to Him--a continual process.
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